I was traveling through Guilin, China and came across this nice Cormorant Fisherman. We got to talking and he convinced me that he was, in fact, my long-lost uncle Pepe. At first I did not believe him because:
1) I keep a strict count of the number of uncles I have
2) He is a different race
3) He is as old as my grandpa
However, he made some very compelling points so I had to concede to his superior logic. It also turned out that he needed a small loan of $100,000 to start a new clothing line. He assured me spandex was making a comeback and he would pay me back within six months, so I lent him the money. I can't say no to family!